Too Many Doses And I'm Starting To Get An Attraction

I started to come round, I felt numb all over and drowsy. I opened my eyes slowly everything was a little bit dark. I looked down and saw that Jimmy was there asleep. I reached over to run my fingers through his hair, as I did I felt that something was down my throat, it felt really uncomfortable. I started to choke. Jimmy woke up straight away and I saw the Johnny woke up as well. Jimmy came over to me, he looked panicked. Johnny’s looked confused. Jimmy pressed the nurse button. Moments later the nurse arrived she took the thing out of my mouth, then I found it hard to breath. She put an oxygen tube thing up my nose, then she left. Jimmy hugged me and held me tight, I wrapped my arms around him.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily” a tear rolled down my cheek, I wasn’t sure why.

“I thought I would never wake up” then I burst out crying. Jimmy put his arms round me, I placed my head onto his shoulder and cried.

“I love you more than anything” I sobbed.

“No you don’t”

“I do coz I feel the same way about you”

“Really?” I sniffed, I looked up at him. He nodded and wiped my tears away and brushed the hair out of my face. I laid back down, Jimmy kept hold of my hand. He squeezed my hand gently and smiled I smiled back but it was still a weak smile.

After something like 10 minuets of me coming round the doctor came in. I wasn’t in the mood for him and just wanted to leave me alone. He came over to me, Jimmy moved out of the way. He shone a light in my eye, I squinted a bit. Then he left me alone, he signalled for Jimmy to follow him. Before Jimmy left he gave me a kiss on the forehead. Johnny came and sat on the opposite side of the bed, he smiled at me, I smiled back. Then there was an awkward silence.

“So” I said looking out of the little window to see if I could make out what the doctor was saying to Jimmy.

“Sorry”

“What’s wrong babe?”

I looked at the doctor blankly. I thought with the path that my life has taken at the moment that Kala might have something seriously wrong with her and that the fall was life changing. I didn’t like where my mind was wondering but I couldn’t help it. For some reason I have a mind that always thinks the worse of things.

“Well you have nothing to worry about, she’s fine”

“Thank god for that” I was so relieved.

After a few hours night fell, I was so tired but I wasn’t going to leave her in here. Johnny was already nodding off. Everyone else had gone to the canteen. All the time that I’ve been sat next to her I’ve not let go of her hand. I sat on the bed and started to stroke her head. I didn’t know what she was feeling but I hoped I was making her feel more comfortable. I wasn’t sure if it was my eyes playing tricks on me because I’m sure I saw Kala smile I little, it was hard to tell because she had something in her mouth to help her breath. I leaned forward and brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her on the forehead.

“Please come round baby” I whispered. I straightened the sheets that were covering Kala up and sat back down in the chair beside her.

After 10 minuets or so the others came back and Johnny was asleep. I was still watching over Kala and waiting for her to come round. I wanted to go to sleep but I wasn’t going to allow my self to do so.

“No I’m fine”

“I’ll be fine here”

“No Rev, Kala wouldn’t want you in this sate”

“And what state am I in?”

“As tired as fuck and she wouldn’t want you worrying over her like this”

“I’m not leaving her alone in here and that’s final” Val just shrugged, she knew my mind was made up and there was no point in trying to change it. They all left well apart from Johnny they didn’t want to disturb him. My eyelids became heavy, I rested my head on Kala’s bed but kept holding her hand. Soon after I drifted off to sleep.

The paramedic started to resuscitate her, I couldn’t watch it was to painful. I started to think that this was the last time I was ever going to see her. I wanted to kiss her lips once last time. It was something like 30 seconds before she was resuscitated. I let out a huge sigh of relief so did Johnny. I ran my fingers through my hair, my hand was very shaky.

“I hope she is” Johnny gave me a weak smile, I gave one back.

We arrived at the hospital a few minuets later, when we entered the hospital doctors and nurses came round Kala. They were using medical terms I didn’t know, I started to worry even more. I didn’t let go of her hand. They took her to a room on her own, they wouldn’t let me or Johnny in there. I looked through the window. All I could see was the nurses and doctors round her. I placed my hand on the window and sighed.

“Come on Rev sit down”

“But”

After 10 minuets of the doctors and nurses sorting Kala out they came out. One of the doctors came up to us.

“We’ll have to get a CT scan done”

“Oh god” I was on the verge of crying again.

The nurse took Kala to get a CT scan done, they still wouldn’t let me go with her. I waited anxiously. I was pacing up and down and trying not to let my mind wonder.

“Rev just calm down”

“I can’t”

“It’s only routine”

“I know but I cant help but think…well you know” Johnny nodded at me to show he understood what I was thinking. I sat next to him, we didn’t say a word until Kala came back. They let me in to see her.

I went up to where she was laying and sat next to her. I cupped her hand in both of mine and kissed her hand. I ran my thumb over her hand. She looked so lifeless.

“I’m so sorry” I whispered. I wished with all my heart that she would answer back but I knew she wouldn’t.

I sat next to her for 10 minuets in silence just looking at her and holding her hand, every now and then I could feel the tears coming.

The guys and Val came. By the time they came I was jiggered, but I wanted to stay with Kala. I didn’t want to leave her side in case she came round while I was gone. They all entered the room I didn’t turn t face them. Matt came up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry mate”

“There’s no need to be, it was my fault”

“What happened?”

“She slipped while coming down the tree, I could have helped her, I knew she wasn’t that good coming down but I didn’t do nothing”

the next few chapters are going to be from Jimmy's point of view.

It happened so quickly, I couldn’t believe that one minuet she was coming down the tree and the next she was laying on the floor not moving, blood poured out of her head. It made me feel sick, I was shaking. I looked at Johnny and he looked extremely shocked I thought he was going cry. I went up to her, I knew not move her. I took my coat off and laid it on top of her. People started to crowd round us.

“Call the ambulance” I told Johnny, my voice was shaky. He did. I crouched down next to her, I could feel a lump in my throat. I decided that I would be best to place her in the recovery position. I wanted her to wake up and then everything would be fine and back to normal. I wish it was a bad dream and I would wake up any second and see her laying next me peaceful in her sleep. I knew it wasn’t a dream, I knew it was real but I couldn’t help but wish it was.

The ambulance arrived, they lifted her onto the bed. By this point I felt the tears coming on. She just looked so lifeless, I wanted to switch places with her. I hoped she wasn’t feeling any pain, I would hate for her to be in pain and not know about it. Me and Johnny followed the paramedics into the ambulance. They wired her up to heartbeat machine. I sat down next to her and held her hand tight. I looked down at my shoes.

“It’s all my fault” I whispered to myself but I was loud enough for Johnny to hear.

“It was Johnny” I could feel tears pricking my eyes but I held them back, I knew she would want me to be strong.

“Then why was it your fault?”

“I could have helped her down”

“It still doesn’t say that it was your fault, she slipped”

“I could have steadied her” I looked away, a few tears rolled down my cheek, I wiped them away. I looked back over to her, she looked as beautiful as ever. I reached over and ran my fingers through her hair, I could just see her smile, I put on a little smile but it was hard to do. Just then she stopped breathing, I backed away straight away. Was it something I did? I went and sat next to Johnny in silence and just stared straight ahead, I couldn’t believe this was happening, why was it happening to the girl I love with all my heart and soul? What did I do for this to happen to her? Couldn’t whoever do this to me instead?

woop two chapters in one day

Later that day me, Jimmy and Johnny went down to the park. Seen as the weather was nice and hot. I decided to wear shorts, fishnet tights and a Guns ‘N’ Roses top oh and not forgetting my converses. I walked a bit ahead of Jimmy and Johnny, they were both having one of their talks. We took a detour to the liquor store and bought a few cans of beer, I don’t like beer so I got a few bottles of Quinns. When we arrived at the park Jimmy put his arm round my waist and pulled me closer to him, there wasn’t an inch between us. Johnny seemed a lot happier and was more cheery than he has been in the last few days, it put a smile on my face to see him nearly back to his normal self. They took me to a part of the park I haven’t been to before, it was away from everyone and on-one could see where we were.

“Oh cool”

I went and sat under a tree, Jimmy and Johnny came and sat next to me. I started to remember when I was a kid and I used to climb the exact tree I was sitting under and Mom would be telling me to come down because it was dangerous and my brother Jack would be to scared to climb the tree. Those were some of the best years of my life, but I wish I could hear one of their voices but they’ve disowned me for reasons I don’t know, I let out a sigh.

“No just thinking of old times” then I had an urge to climb the tree, so I started to climb it.

“Ha! I’ve done this thousands of times” after a minuet I reached a part of the tree where you could sit. I sat there and imagined that I was a child again, I started to place my mother down at the bottom of the tree trying to get me down, Jack going a little way up the tree then going back down. I smiled to myself. Jimmy started climbed up the tree. I saw him bring himself up and while he was doing so his muscles flexed quite a lot, I couldn’t help but look I was still imaging the old times as well. When he reached where I was he came and sat next to me. He put his arm round me and rubbed my arm, I snapped out of my little world. I rested my head on him and wrapped my arms round him, he was nice and warm, the weather had become a little bit chilly. We sat there without moving for about ten minuets.

“It was probably going to Japan and Australia for the first time. Being in a band for so long, it’s kind of a weird experience to play to kids who’ve never seen you before. I went skydiving in New Zealand over where they filmed ‘Lord Of The Rings’ which was cool, too.”

“Yeah man, it was the best thing in my life, I loved it. Your brain goes into over sensory mode and you don’t know what’s going on for a while, then all of a sudden you’re on the ground. Only me and the Rev did it. Everyone else pussied out.”

“Just touring in Europe in general was kind of a low point, not necessarily England, but mainland Europe. You’re far away from home, everyone’s speaking a different language every day, it’s kind of annoying and wears you down. The shows weren’t great either, we were out with Matallica, which is cool but it’s hard from being a headlining act to a support band.”

“It always sucks when you’re bumming out fans. At the same time, we gave them a month in advance to get refunded, I didn’t feel bad that bad about it. I felt that we’re going to give them something better in the end, even if they don’t know about it now. They’re going to get a better record because mentally we’re going to be in a better place when we’re writing it. It was a mistake on our part obviously, and hopefully they won’t hold it against us. We’d rather have kids mad at us than go out there looking like we weren’t trying, and that’s what it came down to.”

“It was definitely when The Rev killed a pigeon in Amsterdam and got thrown in jail while he was on all sorts of fucking mushrooms and whatever he could ingest. That was a two-day fucking extravaganza of not going to sleep. He was out of his fucking mind chasing pigeons saying, ‘What, these pigeons don’t think we’ll kill them? Why do they trust humans so much?’. He was chasing them with a stick and one flew in the air and he just beat it down. The cops saw him. It was six in the morning , everyone was just getting up and going to work and we were out of our minds. So six cops ran up, maced him and threw him jail. He called us saying ‘Dude, I’m out of jail, I’m at a pizza stand in the red light district and I just took a bunch of ‘shrooms, you’ve got to come and meet up with me’.”

“There are a lot of dumb fuck Ozzfest fans I’d like to slap (laughs). They’re just total fucking trash. And there were a lot of European kids at the Matallica shows that would just sit there when us Trivium and Bullet For My Valentine were playing - there were literally 40,000 kids with their arms crossed for all three of our bands. They didn’t give a fuck, they don’t care about anything that’s from the States or England. If it’s not Manowar they fucking hate it. They were to lazy too even give it a chance, so I’d like to slap a lot of them into reality’.”

“I think any time you go to Japan it’s fucking weird. You get there and your whole world’s different, it’s weird because you have all these little people and they look different but they love western culture. The thing is, they try to emulate American culture - you see Japanese girls walking in high heels and it doesn’t look right but they love it’.”

Its been two days till I had the dream about Johnny and I had the same one last night, well it was a bit different but Johnny did save me and Jimmy. I kept wondering why I’ve been dreaming of him like this. I didn’t really want to confront Jimmy with my dreams in case he got the wrong idea, but he doesn’t seem the jealous type.

I was staring out of the window, I do that from time to time when I’m thinking. Johnny was still with me and Jimmy, he didn’t want to go back to the guys because he was depressed and he knew the others would only ask questions and he wanted to be left alone. We were all having breakfast, well Jimmy and Johnny were I wasn’t hungry.

“I’m not hungry” I said still looking out of the window.

“At least have a slice of toast”

“No”

“Come on you need to eat”

“I’ll have something later” my eyes didn’t leave the window, I looked like I was in some sort of trance. Jimmy and Johnny both ate in silence.

“Huh? No”

“She does that when she’s thinking”

“Oh, what are you thinking of?”

“Stuff” I didn’t want tell them, I still wasn’t sure why I was having these dreams. Maybe they were telling me something.

After breakfast Johnny was playing about with his bass, he didn’t have it plugged in and Jimmy was coming up with drum beats on the table with his drum sticks. I was glad the table wasn’t wood in the living room otherwise there would be chips in the table, but with it being glass it could break.

“Jimmy please be careful” I said when I entered the living room with a pot of tea.

He but his drum sticks down after about five minuets of me being in the room and put his arm round me. He pulled me closer to him, I nearly spilt my tea but what the hell.

“Hey! Your all tense, is there something the matter?”

“No” I said while taking a sip of my tea. Jimmy grabbed hold of my tea and placed the cup on the coffee table.

It has been a week since I’ve been out of hospital and I’ve been having the same nightmare. I haven’t had a lot of sleep because of them, each time I have one they seem to get more horrific. Tonight was no different.

Me and Jimmy were curled up together on the couch. Jimmy had his arm round me and was rubbing his thumb on my shoulder. I had my head rested on him, I could hear his heart beating it was soothing in a way. Knowing that the one I loved was very close to me. We were watching TV, some film. It was a romantic comedy, I don’t really mind them. I thought it was going to be a normal night, but after an hour of the film starting there was a knock at the door. I went to answer it, I wasn’t to pleased because I was really comfortable. When I opened the door I saw that it was Johnny, he looked really upset as though he was going to cry any second. It was really weird for me to see him like that, he’s normally the one cheering everyone up when they’re upset or depressed.

“Come on in” I said while moving to the side. He came in without saying a word. He walked towards the couch without saying a word. He sat down and stared at the wall. Jimmy was shocked that Johnny was acting this and was also worried about him. I went over to him and put my arm round him. I looked at Jimmy to see if he knew anything he just shrugged.

“What’s wrong Johnny?”

“Shhh” I said while rubbing his back, I placed my chin on his head. This explains why he has been acting weird for the past week. I wondered if any of the other guys knew about this. After about half an hour he calmed down and he was just being silent.

“Can I stay here for the night? The others would only ask questions”

“Sure” unfortunately I didn’t have a spare bedroom.

“You’ll have to sleep on the couch I’m afraid”

“It doesn’t matter as long as I can sleep here, just tonight though”

“K you know you can come here when you want, isn’t that right Jimmy”

“Well make your self at home” I said getting up. I went upstairs to get Johnny some bedding. When I was coming down I heard Jimmy and Johnny talking, I stopped where I was and listened.

“Yeah I know, I really don’t deserve her”

“Yeah you do, after all the things you’ve been through”

“Come on shift it” I said when I entered the living room. They did. I made Johnny his bed for the night.

“There you go” I said smiling at Johnny. It was 11 at night and I was getting tired, I knew I wouldn’t get a lot of sleep with all the nightmares I’ve been having.

“Well I’m off to bed, night” I said heading for the hallway.

“What?”

“Not now babe”

“Why?”

“Johnny’s downstairs”

“So”

“Night” I said and gave peck on the lips and turned round and closed my eyes. Jimmy laid down next to me and draped his arm round me. I felt so safe with him. I started to drift off to sleep. After a hour or so I started to get the nightmares again. It was the same as before but worse, this time they were slowly torturing Jimmy and making me watch. I dreamt the guy who raped me was there. This nightmare has to be the worst one I’ve had, I began to talk in my sleep. Jimmy woke up and started to comfort me, I calmed down a bit. I started to dream that Johnny came in and beat up all the guys there, untied Jimmy and saved me from the guy who raped me. I woke myself up, I was shocked that Johnny came into my dream.

I started to come round a few hours later. I could smell disinfectant, I definitely wasn’t at the guys place. Soon after I got a really bad headache, I couldn’t remember what happened and why I was where ever I was. My head felt as though it would explode any second, the part that hurt the worst was just above my forehead. A few minuets after I could hear, I could hear all sorts of things. I could hear them heartbeat machines, I figured out that I must be in hospital. I could hear the guys around me I couldn’t make out what they were saying though but least I knew they were there. I started to come round fully, I opened my eyes slowly. The light stung my eyes a bit, I saw that I was looking up at the ceiling, my vision was a bit blurry.

“She’s awake” I heard Brian say. They all came rushing round me. They all were smiling but I couldn’t see Jimmy.

“Like hell”

“Sorry” I said with I little smile.

“It’s ok”

“Where’s Jimmy?” I asked I was a bit down hearted that he wasn’t there when I woke up.

“Oh”

After a few minuets I heard footsteps well it sounded like someone was running. My vision was back to normal but my head was still killing, I wasn’t aloud any more painkillers for a few hours seen as I already had some, they eased the pain a bit but not much. I saw Jimmy running towards the bed with a very big smile on his face and the look of relief on his face. When he came to me and hugged me very tightly, so tight in fact that I couldn’t breath, well I could but I was hard. I patted his back and said “You can let go of me now”. He did.

“Fuck!” I cursed. Jimmy thought he did something wrong so he moved. I smiled a bit.

“It wasn’t you”

“Well you fainted and banged your head twice and I panicked like hell” Jimmy informed me. I giggled a bit when he said he panicked like hell. I thought I was sweet of him that he panicked a lot.

“So that’s why you went for a fag then?”

“Yeah, to try and calm me down a bit”

“Did it?” I was just asking random questions so I could hear Jimmy voice, that seemed to be the only thing that made my head not as bad.

“When will I be able to go back home?” I asked.

“Tomorrow” Zacky informed me.

“Oh” I looked away, I really didn’t want to stay another second in this place I was becoming even more depressed. I came over all tired but I doubted that I’ll be able to sleep with the pain. I thought if I rubbed my head a bit it might ease the pain a bit. I did, I felt dressing on my head, what was that for?

“Why have I got bandages round my head?”

“When you banged your head you cut your head” Jimmy told me.

“Oh well I’m gunna get some sleep”

I started to have bad dreams. I started tossing and turning, I could feel Jimmy stroking my head to try and calm me, but it didn’t work. I was dreaming that Jimmy was getting killed and some people had tied me up making me watch them kill him. It was horrible. I started talking my sleep. I kept shouting “STOP IT PLEASE, KILL ME INSTEAD” then I woke myself up.

Me and Jimmy came back from the beach after an hour. When we came through the front door of the guys house we were both giggling. Brian came out of the kitchen with a beer bottle in his hands. He gave us a strange look.

“If you two were kids I’ll be wondering if you did something naughty”

“We might have” I winked at him and put my arms round Jimmy and gave him a kiss on the lips. After I said that he smiled and walked back into the living room. Me and Jimmy were both extremely horny. Jimmy led me up the stairs to his old room, they kept it to the same as its always been. I gently pushed Jimmy onto his bed, then kicked his door shut. He started to undress himself and I started to undress myself. When Jimmy came to taking off his pants he pulled out a condom from his back pocket.

“We cant be forgetting this now came we” he grinned at me. I nodded. Soon we were both naked. I started to ride him. He put his arms round my waist and started to moan, this turned me on a bit more. I started to go a bit faster and let out a moan it came more from the throat. It didn’t long for me to climax. When I did climax Jimmy rolled me over so he was on top. He started to go really hard and fast. Then it became painful.

“Fuck!” I said well shouted. Jimmy reacted straight away.

“You were to hardcore”

“It’s ok” I said while getting up and putting my clothes back on. When I was fully clothed I headed towards the bathroom to sort out my hair, I’m quite fussy about my hair but not as fussy as Jimmy.

While I was doing my hair I came over all faint, I grabbed onto the side of the sink to steady myself. Then I fainted, I let go of the sink and banged my head on the side of the sink and then the side of bath. Everything went black but I could still here what was going on around me. I must have made a noise when I fell because I heard footsteps coming towards me. When whoever saw me came towards me quicker. I felt the person grab hold of me and cradle me in their arms.